Sara (A Little Princess)

01Chapter I.

02SARA.

03Once, on a dark winter's day, when the yellow fog hung so thick and heavy in the streets of London that the lamps were lighted and the shop-windows blazed with gas as they do at night, an odd-looking little girl sat in a cab with her father, and was driven rather slowly through the big thoroughfares.

04She sat with her feet tucked under her, and leaned against her father, who held her in his arm as she stared out of the window at the passing people with a queer, old-fashioned thoughtfulness in her big eyes.

05She was such a little girl that one did not expect to see such a look on her small face.

06It would have been an old look for a child of twelve, and Sarah Crewe was only seven.

07The fact was, however, that she was always dreaming and thinking odd things, and she could not herself remember any time when she had not been thinking things about grown-up people and the world they belonged to.

08She felt as if she had lived a long, long time.

09At this moment she was remembering the voyage she had just made from Bombay with her father, Captain Crewe.

10She was thinking of the big ship, of the lascars passing silently to and fro on it, of the children playing about on the hot deck, and of some of the young officers' wives who used to try to make her talk to them and laugh at the things she said.

11Principally she was thinking of what a queer thing it was that at one time one was in India in the blazing sun, and then in the middle of the ocean, and then driving in a strange vehicle through strange streets where the day was as dark as the night.

12She found this so puzzling that she moved closer to her father.

13Papa, she said in a low, mysterious little voice, which was almost a whisper.

14Papa.

15What is it, darling?

16Captain Crewe answered, holding her closer and looking down into her face.

17What is Sarah thinking of?

18Is this the place?

19Sarah whispered, cuddling still closer to him.

20Is it, Papa?

21Yes, little Sarah, it is.

22We have reached it at last.

23And though she was only seven years old, she knew that he felt sad when he said it.

24It seemed to her many years since he had begun to prepare her mind for the place, as she always called it.

25Her mother had died when she was born, so she had never known or missed her.

26Her young, handsome, rich, petting father seemed to be the only relation she had in the world.

27They had always played together and been fond of each other.

28She only knew he was rich because she had heard people say so when they thought she was not listening, and she had also heard them say that when she grew up she would be rich too.

29She did not know all that being rich meant.

30She had always lived in a beautiful bungalow, and had been used to seeing many servants who made salaams to her and called her Missy Sahib, and gave her her own way in everything.

31She had had toys and pets and an ayah who worshipped her, and she had gradually learned that people who were rich had these things.

32That, however, was all she knew about it.

33During her short life only one thing had troubled her, and that thing was the place she was to be taken to some day.

34The climate of India was very bad for children, and as soon as possible they were sent away from it, generally to England and to school.

35She had seen other children go away, and had heard their fathers and mothers talk about the letters they received from them.

36She had known that she would be obliged to go also, and though sometimes her father's stories of the voyage and the new country had attracted her, she had been troubled by the thought that he could not stay with her.

37Couldn't you go to that place with me, Papa?

38she had asked when she was five years old.

39Couldn't you go to school too?

40I would help you with your lessons.

41But you will not have to stay for a very long time, little Sarah, he had always said.

42You will go to a nice house, where there will be a lot of little girls, and you will play together, and I will send you plenty of books, and you will grow so fast that it will seem scarcely a year before you are big enough and clever enough to come back and take care of Papa.

43She had liked to think of that.

44To keep the house for her father, to ride with him and sit at the head of his table when he had dinner-parties, to talk to him and read his books.

45That would be what she would like most in the world.

46And if one must go away to the place in England to attain it, she must make up her mind to go.

47She did not care very much for other little girls, but if she had plenty of books, she could console herself.

48She liked books more than anything else, and was, in fact, always inventing stories of beautiful things and telling them to herself.

49Sometimes she had told them to her father, and he had liked them as much as she did.

50Well, Papa, she said softly, if we are here, I suppose we must be resigned.

51He laughed at her old-fashioned speech, and kissed her.

52He was really not at all resigned himself, though he knew he must keep that a secret.

53His quaint little Sarah had been a great companion to him, and he felt he would be a lonely fellow when, on his return to India, he went into his bungalow, knowing he need not expect to see the small figure in its white frock come forward to meet him.

54So he held her very closely in his arms, as the cab rolled into the big, dull square in which stood the house which was their destination.

55It was a big, dull, brick house, exactly like all the others in its row, but that on the front door there shone a brass plate on which was engraved in black letters, Miss Minchin, Select Seminary for Young Ladies.

56Here we are, Sarah, said Captain Crewe, making his voice sound as cheerful as possible.

57Then he lifted her out of the cab, and they mounted the steps and rang the bell.

58Sarah often thought afterward that the house was somehow exactly like Miss Minchin.

59It was respectable and well furnished, but everything in it was ugly, and the very arm-chairs seemed to have hard bones in them.

60In the hall everything was hard and polished.

61Even the red cheeks of the moon-face on the tall clock in the corner had a severe, varnished look.

62The drawing-room into which they were ushered was covered by a carpet with a square pattern upon it.

63The chairs were square, and a heavy marble timepiece stood upon the heavy marble mantle.

64As she sat down in one of the stiff mahogany chairs, Sarah cast one of her quick looks about her.

65"'I don't like it, Papa,' she said.

66"'But then I dare say soldiers—even brave ones—don't really like going into battle.' Captain Crewe laughed outright at this.

67He was young and full of fun, and he never tired of hearing Sarah's queer speeches.

68"'Oh, little Sarah,' he said, "'what shall I do when I have no one to say solemn things to me?

69No one else is as solemn as you are.' "'But why do solemn things make you laugh so?' inquired Sarah.

70"'Because you are such fun when you say them,' he answered, laughing still more.

71And then suddenly he swept her into his arms and kissed her very hard, stopping laughing all at once, and looking almost as if tears had come into his eyes.

72It was just then that Miss Minchin entered the room.

73She was very like her house, Sarah felt, tall and dull and respectable and ugly.

74She had large, cold, fishy eyes, and a large, cold, fishy smile.

75It spread itself into a very large smile when she saw Sarah and Captain Crewe.

76She had heard a great many desirable things of the young soldier from the lady who had recommended her school to him.

77Among other things, she had heard that he was a rich father, who was willing to spend a great deal of money on his little daughter.

78"'It will be a great privilege to have charge of such a beautiful and promising child, Captain Crewe,' she said, taking Sarah's hand and stroking it.

79Lady Meredith has told me of her unusual cleverness.

80A clever child is a great treasure in an establishment like mine.' Sarah stood quietly, with her eyes fixed upon Miss Minchin's face.

81She was thinking something odd, as usual.

82"'Why does she say I am a beautiful child?' she was thinking.

83"'I am not beautiful at all.

84Colonel Granger's little girl, Isabelle, is beautiful.

85She has dimples and rose-coloured cheeks, and long hair the colour of gold.

86I have short black hair and green eyes, besides which I am a thin child and not fair in the least.

87I am one of the ugliest children I ever saw.

88She is beginning by telling a story.' She was mistaken, however, in thinking she was an ugly child.

89She was not in the least like Isabel Grange, who had been the beauty of the regiment, but she had an odd charm of her own.

90She was a slim, supple creature, rather tall for her age, and had an intense, attractive little face.

91Her hair was heavy and quite black, and only curled at the tips.

92Her eyes were greenish-gray, it is true, but they were big, wonderful eyes, with long, black lashes, and though she herself did not like the colour of them, many other people did.

93Still she was very firm in her belief that she was an ugly little girl, and she was not at all elated by Miss Minchin's fluttery.

94"'I should be telling a story if I said she was beautiful,' she thought, and I should know I was telling a story.

95"'I believe I am as ugly as she is—in my way.

96What did she say that for?' After she had known Miss Minchin longer, she learned why she had said it.

97She discovered that she said the same thing to each papa and mama who brought a child to her school.

98Sarah stood near her father, and listened while he and Miss Minchin talked.

99She had been brought to the seminary because Lady Meredith's two little girls had been educated there, and Captain Crewe had a great respect for Lady Meredith's experience.

100Sarah was to be what was known as a parlour-boarder, and she was to enjoy even greater privileges than parlour-boarders usually did.

101She was to have a pretty bedroom and sitting-room of her own.

102She was to have a pony and a carriage, and a maid to take the place of the ayah who had been her nurse in India.

103"'I am not in the least anxious about her education,' Captain Crewe said with his gay laugh, as he held Sarah's hand and patted it.

104"'The difficulty will be to keep her from learning too fast too much.

105She is always sitting with her little nose burrowing into books.

106She doesn't read them, Miss Minchin.

107She gobbles them up as if she were a little wolf instead of a little girl.

108She is always starving for new books to gobble.

109And she wants grown-up books—great big fat ones, French and German as well as English— History and biography, poets, and all sorts of things.

110Drag her away from her books when she reads too much.

111Make her ride her pony in the row, or go out and buy a new doll.

112She ought to play more with dolls.' "'Papa,' said Sarah.

113"'You see, if I went out and bought a new doll every few days, I should have more than I could be fond of.

114Dolls ought to be intimate friends.

115Emily is going to be my intimate friend.' Captain Crewe looked at Miss Minchin, and Miss Minchin looked at Captain Crewe.

116"'Who is Emily?' she inquired.

117"'Tell her, Sarah,' Captain Crewe said, smiling.

118Sarah's green-grey eyes looked very solemn and quite soft as she answered, "'She is a doll I haven't got yet,' she said.

119"'She is a doll Papa is going to buy for me.

120We are going out together to find her.

121I have called her Emily.

122She is going to be my friend when Papa is gone.

123I want her to talk to about him.' Miss Minchin's large, fishy smile became very flattering indeed.

124"'What an original child!' she said.

125"'What a darling little creature!' "'Yes,' said Captain Crewe, drawing Sarah close.

126"'She is a darling little creature.' "'Take great care of her for me, Miss Minchin.' Sarah stayed with her father at his hotel for several days.

127In fact, she remained with him until he sailed away again to India.

128They went out and visited many big shops together, and bought a great many things.

129They bought, indeed, a great many more things than Sarah needed.

130But Captain Crewe was a rash, innocent young man, and wanted his little girl to have everything she admired, and everything he admired himself.

131So between them they collected a wardrobe much too grand for a child of seven.

132There were velvet dresses, trimmed with costly furs, and lace dresses, and embroidered ones, and hats with great soft ostrich feathers, and ermine coats, and muffs, and boxes of tiny gloves, and handkerchiefs, and silk stockings in such abundant supplies, that the polite young women behind the counters whispered to each other, the odd little girl with big solemn eyes must be at least some foreign princess, perhaps the little daughter of an Indian rajah.

133And at last they found Emily.

134But they went to a number of toy shops, and looked at a great many dolls before they discovered her.

135"'I want her to look as if she wasn't a doll, really,' Sarah said.

136"'I want her to look as if she listens when I talk to her.

137The trouble with dolls, Papa,' and she put her head on one side, and reflected as she said it, "'the trouble with dolls is that they never seem to hear.' So they looked at big ones and little ones, at dolls with black eyes and dolls with blue, at dolls with brown curls and dolls with golden braids, dolls dressed and dolls undressed.

138"'You see,' Sarah said, when they were examining one who had no clothes, "'if, when I find her, she has no frocks, we can take her to a dressmaker and have her things made to fit.

139They will fit better if they are tried on.' After a number of disappointments, they decided to walk and look in at the shop windows and let the cab follow them.

140They had passed two or three places without even going in, when, as they were approaching a shop which was really not a very large one, Sarah suddenly started and clutched her father's arm.

141"'Oh, Papa!' she cried.

142"'There is Emily!' A flush had risen to her face, and there was an expression in her green-gray eyes, as if she had just recognised someone she was intimate with and fond of.

143"'She is actually waiting there for us,' she said.

144"'Let us go in to her.' "'Dear me,' said Captain Crewe, "'I feel as if we ought to have someone to introduce us.' "'You must introduce me, and I will introduce you,' said Sarah.

145"'But I knew her the minute I saw her, so perhaps she knew me too.' Perhaps she had known her.

146She had certainly a very intelligent expression in her eyes when Sarah took her in her arms.

147She was a large doll, but not too large to carry about easily.

148She had naturally curling golden-brown hair, which hung like a mantle about her, and her eyes were a deep, clear grey-blue, with soft, thick eyelashes, which were real eyelashes, and not mere painted lines.

149"'Of course,' said Sarah, looking into her face as she held her on her knee.

150"'Of course, Papa, this is Emily.' So Emily was bought, and actually taken to a children's outfitters' shop, and measured for a wardrobe as grand as Sarah's own.

151She had lace frocks, too, and velvet and muslin ones, and hats and coats, and beautiful lace-trimmed underclothes, and gloves and handkerchiefs and furs.

152"'I should like her always to look as if she was a child with a good mother,' said Sarah.

153"'I'm her mother, though I'm going to make a companion of her.' Captain Crewe would really have enjoyed the shopping tremendously, but that a sad thought kept tugging at his heart.

154This all meant that he was going to be separated from his beloved, quaint little comrade.

155He got out of his bed in the middle of that night, and went and stood looking down at Sarah, who lay asleep with Emily in her arms.

156Her black hair was spread out on the pillow, and Emily's golden-brown hair mingled with it, both of them had lace-ruffled nightgowns, and both had long eyelashes, which lay and curled up on their cheeks.

157Emily looked so like a real child that Captain Crewe felt glad she was there.

158He drew a big sigh, and pulled his mustache with a boyish expression.

159"'Heigh-ho, little Sarah,' he said to himself, "'I don't believe you know how much your daddy will miss you.' The next day he took her to Miss Minchin's, and left her there.

160He was to sail away the next morning.

161He explained to Miss Minchin that his solicitors, Messrs.

162Barrow and Skipworth, had charge of his affairs in England, and would give her any advice she wanted, and that they would pay the bill she sent him for Sarah's expenses.

163He would write to Sarah twice a week, and she was to be given every pleasure she asked for.

164"'She is a sensible little thing, and she never wants anything it isn't safe to give her,' he said.

165Then he went with Sarah into a little sitting-room, and they bade each other good-bye.

166Sarah sat on his knee, and held the lapels of his coat in her small hands, and looked long and hard at his face.

167"'Are you learning me by heart, little Sarah?' he said, stroking her hair.

168"'No,' she answered.

169"'I know you by heart.

170You are inside my heart.' And they put their arms round each other, and kissed as if they would never let each other go.

171When the cab drove away from the door, Sarah was sitting on the floor of her sitting-room, with her hands under her chin, and her eyes following it, until it had turned the corner of the square.

172Emily was sitting by her, and she looked after it too.

173When Miss Minchin sent her sister, Miss Amelia, to see what the child was doing, she found she could not open the door.

174"'I have locked it,' said a queer, polite little voice from inside.

175"'I want to be quite by myself, if you please.' Miss Amelia was fat and dumpy, and stood very much in awe of her sister.

176She was really the better-natured person of the two, but she never disobeyed Miss Minchin.

177She went downstairs again, looking almost alarmed.

178"'I never saw such a funny old-fashioned child, sister,' she said.

179"'She has locked herself in, and she is not making the least particle of noise.' "'It is much better than if she kicked and screamed, as some of them do,' Miss Minchin answered.

180"'I expected that a child as much spoiled as she is would set the whole house in an uproar.

181If ever a child was given her own way in everything, she is.' "'I have been opening her trunks and putting her things away,' said Miss Amelia.

182"'I never saw anything like them.

183Sable and ermine on her coats, and real Valenciennes lace on her underclothing.

184You have seen some of her clothes.

185What do you think of them?' "'I think they are perfectly ridiculous,' replied Miss Minchin sharply.

186"'But they will look very well at the head of the line when we take the schoolchildren to church on Sunday.

187She has been provided for as if she were a little princess.' And upstairs, in the locked room, Sarah and Emily sat on the floor, and stared at the corner round which the cab had disappeared, while Captain Crewe looked backward, waving and kissing his hand as if he could not bear to stop.

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